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About PTSD & PNSD:

My name is Lynda. I was diagnosed with PTSD in Feb. 2017. My PTSD is as a result of having to live (due to lifelong disabilities/lack of finances) with my parents, till after Mum passed. Both parents died in 2016, Mum in April & Dad in August. My PTSD is due to the fact that Mum was a Narcissistic nightmare, not that she died. I was always the family Scapegoat. Not a role I'd wish on anyone. It's true hell.  Only other's who've been in that situation can really understand/relate.  I had over 23 years of daily hell, after older (able bodied) brother moved out. By the time Mum passed, I was 37. So a lot of mental damage was done in those years. It was chronic stress (24/7/365) & suicidal thoughts for over 10 years.
 
Narcissistic Abuse is, pretty much, all done behind closed doors. So others don't see or believe you when you can finally speak out about it. Most just can't see it in their friend/relative etc... As a Scapegoat you already feel like a total outsider. Your the only one NOT willing to lie/manipulate/follow the Narcissist etc... So we end up having to constantly walk on egg shells, I did.  We suffer chronic stress, sleeping problems & often end up suffering from PTSD & PNSD (Post Narcisstic Stress Disorder - same problems as PTSD but caused by being envolved with a Narcissist).
 
PTSD/PNSD is an actual change in the brain & how it functions, especially resulting in emotional problems.  We develop: sleep problems/flashbacks/memory issues/unwanted & traumatic memories/hyperarousal/concentration issues/reliving the trauma/avoidance.
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When the Narcissist dies:
 
Based on personal experience, which for some that know me they may find this hard to learn/know, but I was exstatic/happy/glad/relieved when my Narc Mum died (April 10th 2016).
 
The abuse, which is what it is afterall, is finally over with.  Life can return to, or in my case, start a new.  Free of all that held you back.  Suicidal thoughts lessen or are eliminated (depends on your PTSD, which you'll 99.9% have now).
 
Certainly if you fit the Scapegoat role, get therapy asap.  It's great to have someone impartial, that can think clearly.  As during & after abuse you can't really think straight.  So many thoughts/memories/conflicting emotions etc...

Other's that knew the Narcissist may be devastated/sad at death, including on anniversary days.  But, Scapegoat especially, were relieved/happy, just as we were when being told/or found out about the death.  But certainly if it was a family member, then you may decide to mark the anniversary days on your social media.  As they are big days in your life.
 
Narcissistic/PTSD/PNSD Lingo:
 
Narcissistic (i.e. Mother/Father/Brother/Sister/Boyfriend/Girlfriend etc...) Personality Disorder (i.e. NM/NF etc...) - What the Narcissist themselves suffer from.  Making them:
 
Manipulative
Liars
Experts at the Narc Act
No empathy
Unloving
Uncaring
Nasty
Mean
Abusive (mentally)
Everything evolves just around 'THEM' types
Vain
Over critical
Way beyond 'normal' strict
ETC......
 
They NEVER get help or see that they even have a problem.
 
Enabler (NE)- That other person that, by inaction, they're enabling the abuse to continue.  Even though they know the Narcissist is wrong.
 
Golden Child (GC) - The Narcissist's Prince/Saint, the one that can do nothing wrong.  The one that get's all the praise.  Their accomplishments are celebrated.  Often doesn't think there's a problem.  Etc.....
 
Scapegoat (SG) - The exact opposite of the Golden Child.  We get the blame for EVERYTHING that ever goes wrong.  Everything is always our fault.  Our accomplishments are ignored/disregarded.  We have to walk on egg shells all the time.  We live in a state of constant, extreme stress.  We get suicidal.  We see through all the crap/all the lies/all the manipulation.  We are NOT okay with faking the happy, loving i.e. family, if it's truly not the case.  Were often the only ones that, at some point, get therapy.  We develop PTSD & PNSD.
 
LC - Low contact.
 
NC - No contact.  If your the Scapegoat especially, you MUST do this asap.  I couldn't & it's messed me up mentally.
 
Narc Act - All Narcissists are expert in this.  It's basically:
When others are around the Narcissist acts all loving/caring/pleasant etc...  So it's what other's see & why others may struggle to believe the truth when it comes out.  It only lasts while others are around.
 
Avoidance - Part of PTSD.  We simply avoid places/people etc.. that may trigger a traumatic flashback or memory.  I avoid our old family home at all costs.  If it falls into i.e. a big sink hole, it wouldn't be a bad thing.
 
PTSD TRIGGER - A place/person/aroma etc.. that may cause a traumatic flashback or memory.
 
Flashback/Unwanted or Traumatic Memory - As part of PTSD, we relive the event, just as we did when event actually happened.



 
DO ANY OF THESE SOUND FAMILIAR?